I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize