I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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