I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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