What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
