Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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