ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
