Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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