He is such a slut. More and more my type.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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