You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
