i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
