she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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