My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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