Cold hands, warm shart.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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