i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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