Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
