Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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