Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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