it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
