ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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