i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
