I didn't shave. On purpose
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
barbara walters just said penis...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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