you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
