Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
