My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
