I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
