Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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