Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
