I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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