if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
