If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
