So drunk its hurt
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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