She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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