I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
