i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
