the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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