My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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