i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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