im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
