Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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