I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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