Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize