i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Can I color on your dick again?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
