arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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