oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
