the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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