That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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