As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
