You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
