now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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