Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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