Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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