Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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