Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
