Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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