I will die if light touches me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize