Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
