Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
