i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
