So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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