I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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