he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
