just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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