It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
