community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
