kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Randomize
