Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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