Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's always time for handjobs
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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