I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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