I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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