..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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