He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
