Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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