whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
